to embrace rhythm {aka how to fight anxiety in times of change}

there is such a slowness to these spring days,
a creeping of warmth and life,
beauty transcending,
rhythms making way for hours of unscheduled joy,
of just being,
of breathing in and breathing out through
our days. when
change is coming and
you can taste it oh so close,
it's these days,
these life giving, simple, everyday moments that
help to keep our heads
grounded. 
children will grow,
boys will leave home,
go to college,
live their own lives in their own ways,
follow their own paths,
the one He set before them in those days
long ago and we,
we find peace by living these
days simply,
by seeking His face,
by continuing on.
There is a reason He makes the sun rise
in the morning,
and set at night,
seasons change and come again
the same time,
every year.
Finding peace in the constants of this life,
knowing the sun will rise again,
trees will drop their leaves as we drop tears,
will blossom once more as we laugh.
And so we live our own rhythms, our own constants,
finding peace in times of change as we
lay under shade of trees {again this year} and
read aloud on quilts as we picnic {as we do every spring},
collect eggs each morning,
snuggle in bed reading each night,
await ripe cherries and
hang diapers in sunshine.
Change is coming.
And we will be okay.
Peace remains.

*sorry for this reposted pic.  it fit here.  all too well*

to myself

sometimes

when it's really hard and
you are so
incredibly
weary,

when you are overwhelmed with 
everything,

you just need to 
stop,
simplify,
look at what is real.

Because all that other stuff,
all that stuff that consumes you,
it's pulling you away from the beauty
right in front of your face.

 And if you don't stop,
if you don't simplify,
if you let it devour your time, heart, and 
attention,

you will miss all that is truly
lovely and good,
all of the simple beauties that make this life
truly
worth living.
wake up mama, 
and see.

to enjoy His poetry

"it's poetry, isn't it mama?"

"yes baby, it's poetry."

"it's God's poetry.  you write poems and i love them. but this,"

"i know."

"He spoke.  you know, like spoken word poetry.  He spoke His poetry and we get to enjoy it."

"you are so wise."

"i love God's poetry mama."

"me too baby."

to mix the waldorf with the cm {part 2}

Ok here is my follow up post to our combination of Waldorf and Charlotte Mason in our homeschool... if you missed the first, you can find it here.

A couple of things I didn't touch upon in the first post are grammar and math. With our children, as soon as they are able to write, they begin copywork and later, dictation, per cm. This is truly one of the greatest means of learning spelling and grammar, to learn from copying the masters. Learning the names of the parts of speech and how to use them fits in very naturally with the main lessons. We also use Mad Libs for learning and fun!
 

For math we really like Waldorf's method of whole to parts and learning the four processes at the same time. We love A Journey into Waldorf Math and Life of Fred. Josiah is making his way through Life of Fred's elementary series quickly and he absolutely loves doing math.

So our booklist is as follows:

Grade 1:
A Journey Through Waldorf grade 1
Grimm's Complete Fairy Tales
The Among the...series by Clara Dillingham Pierson
The Burgess Animal books by Thornton Burgess 
Read alouds/free reads from AO y1

Grade 2:
A Journey Through Waldorf grade 2
In God's Garden (saint Stories) by Amy Steedman
Our Island Saints by Amy Steedman
God's Troubadour, The Story of St Francis
50 Famous Stories by James Baldwin
Aesop's Fables
Jataka Tales
The Book of Nature Myths
Just So Stories
Literature from AO year2
Read alouds/free reads from AO year 2

Grade 3:
A Journey Through Waldorf grade 3
Story of the Ancient People by Guerber/Miller or
Child's Story Bible
Red Indian Fairy Book by Frances Olcott
Any of Andrew Lang's fairy books
The Wonder Clock by Howard Pyle
Little Folks Land {book to read along with building main lesson}
hands on farming/building
Literature from AO year 3
Read alouds/free reads from AO year 3
 

Grade 4:
A Journey Through Waldorf grade 4
D'aulaire's Book of Norse Myths
Stories of Great Americans for Little Americans by Eggleston
Stories of American Life and Adventure by Eggleston
True Stories of History and Biography by Nathaniel Hawthorne
hands on zoology
Literature from AO year 4
Read alouds/free reads from AO year 4

Grade 5
A Journey Through Waldorf grade 5
Story of the Greeks by Guerber/Miller
Child's Homer and/or Black Ships Before Troy
The Heroes by Kinglsey
The Golden Fleece
Pacific History Stories {local geography/history}
hands on botany
Literature from AO year 5
free reads from AO year 5

Grade 6
Begin AO y6, term 3.
study astronomy

Continue Main lesson books and follow Waldorf recommendations for handwork, art, etc.

From this point we follow Ambleside's curriculum while continuing main lesson books, handwork, etc.

Resources:
A Journey Through Waldorf series can be found here.
Life of Fred can be found here.
Ambleside Online can be found here.

I hope this was thorough and answers the questions I have been receiving.
If you have any other questions feel free to ask!
And now I'm done talking about homeschooling for quite a while :)

*i realize i haven't talked much about the early years... there is so much info online about early waldorf, i figured i didn't really need to write about that.  i wanted this to be mostly about how we combine the two methods in the grades... but if you have any questions about our early years, feel free to ask here or on the facebook page or by email!

to mix the waldorf with the cm, stir, shake and pour

So after my last post I have had some requests to know how we combine waldorf and Charlotte mason in our homeschool. I haven't really written about this much before because 1) I have many readers not interested in homeschooling so I don't want to write about it too often and 2) I am still learning. I still google "combining waldorf and cm" all the time looking for fresh inspiration. There is not much out there which kind of makes it a pain and I feel totally inadequate in giving advice on the subject. So. That's why I haven't talked much about it. But I have had enough inquirers, so I'm just going to write this thing. These are just my ideas and what we do in our home.



 I really think cm and waldorf combine beautifully and naturally. Even down to the ideas and mottoes behind each. Waldorf speaks of "thinking, feeling, willing" and cm's motto is "I am, I can, I ought, I will." In cm, education is defined as an "atmosphere, a discipline, a life" while waldorf education seeks to educate the whole child. They both embrace beauty and gentleness, focus on nature, shun textbooks and rely on the child's "telling back" in various forms. Handwork is seen as necessity not extra curricula,as is art.



There are differences but these differences compliment each other and can be intertwined.  I am not going to use this post to explain all of the intricacies of the two methods, {those can be found in numerous places... try here and here} but what I will do is tell you what we embrace from them and how we live and learn.



Charlotte Mason graces our home in the artist, composer, folk songs, hymns, poetry, nature study and living books.  Every morning we have a circle time of sorts where we read our Bible, poems, learn music and art and have a classic read aloud.  This is the one time of the day when our studies are all together, and this time {along with our afternoon quiet reading time} is a staple of our daily rhythm.



Waldorf is a method of education and a life atmosphere.  Where cm talks about education being an atmosphere, Waldorf creates that atmosphere.  Yes, our home is filled with nature, with wood toys, with dolls, dress up clothes, scarves, etc.  Real, open-ended toys which equal real, open-ended imaginary play.  This is a huge part of Waldorf education and a huge part of our early years.  For the grades we incorporate Steiner's recommendations for main lessons based on the developmental state of the child as opposed to Miss Mason's chronological history study.  I know a great deal of Steiner's beliefs and teachings and there are many things which I do not agree with him on, but I also believe that he was given a great deal of wisdom.  One area that he had great insight into was child development and I know this from watching my own children.  Waldorf education is designed to reach the child where they are and I do believe that the main lessons for each age do a wonderful job of doing that.



Thus, my 9 year old is currently going through an Old Testament main lesson while my 10 year old is reading the Norse myths.  My 5 and 3 year olds spend their days playing, working alongside me and being read to.  We add CM in by having loads of living books which my children and myself read through, narrate, and really drink in.  Waldorf does not really start teaching history until year/grade 5 and I do not require focused history study before then but with all of our reading my kids are exposed to all areas of history.  Both Layla and Josiah love history and have desired to read about it on their own.  {Layla is completely immersed in the middle ages right now, all of her free reading is devoted to it!}



So we follow Waldorf's main lessons for the grades and when history study truly begins with Greek and Roman history, we begin using AO's year 6 {terms 2 & 3} which fits right alongside.  Following AO from year 6 through the end of high school keeps right on track with Waldorf's history study and adds a bit more CM to the mix.  Main lesson books are continued, filled with long written narrations, summary and creative.



Wow, this is so much and I suddenly just ran out of steam.  I really hope all of this makes sense :)  I know some of you are really counting on my book and resource list so I will do a post on that in the next couple of days and that will be my last post on this topic for awhile.  And if you have any questions ask and I will answer them in the next post as well.

to experiment and be glad it's over {thoughts on radical unschooling, television and peace}

We had an experiment for a few weeks. I was tired, overwhelmed and my visions were skewed. Deciding to take a break from all our regular rhythms, curriculum, lifestyle, we embarked upon a journey into unschooling. Not only did I allow my children to choose what to do, I also opened doors to areas which had not previously been open. I turned the television on and told them they could watch it. I got out the wii which had been practically unused for years and told them they could play. Once they realized they could watch Tv and play video games, they started asking to play and I said yes.

For four weeks we lived in this new way and at first I breathed easy. I thought this peace had entered our home, our lives, and I was basking in something practically unheard of before... quiet. It didn't dawn on me how wrong this was until the end of the four weeks. Our power went out.

Now let me put this into perspective for you. Two months before this experiment, we had a power outage. Always imaginative and lovers of play, my kids relished the dark. Deep in winter, it was dark outside by five and the kids built a tent, got flashlights and played in their dark hideout with dolls and toys, pretended they were camping and told ghost stories, drank cocoa and enjoyed every moment. When the power was back on the following evening they were disappointed.

This time, however, the power went out, night dawned and kids whined. They whined constant. I'm so bored. There's nothing to do. When I suggested a fort or stories by candlelight, five year old Ruth yelled at me, "I hate that stuff! The only fun thing is video games."

I began thinking back over the past four weeks, finally putting together all of the changes in my children.  Where had my joy filled, imaginative wee ones gone?  Yes, there had been some peace and quiet, but only because they had been immersed in things which shut them up... television, video games.  There was almost no play, no laughter,  and virtually no togetherness.  Discussion had disappeared, stories were ignored, everyone wrapped up in their own world and most of it on a screen.

It had to end.  And it did, immediately.  I am a gentle, grace-filled parent.  I believe in respecting the child and not lording authority over them.  So believe me when I say it was painful for me to tell my little ones no {only the 5 and 3 year olds... the older kids were thrilled to return to their normal lives, the rhythms and atmosphere which makes us}.  I am and always have been a yes mama.  Every time my kids ask me to do something I question myself and what my motives would be for saying no.  Typically, the motives are selfish and so I say yes.  Before this unschooling/screen experiment, tv and video games had not been in the picture and so I had never had to say no to them.  But now, removing the screens from my children, I had to say no.   Yes, they screamed and cried.  They told me I was mean.  It ate me up inside for that is not the way I am with my children.  But we had to get through this.  And I knew it was my fault, but we had to wean them, had to get back our family's way of life.

A week went by.  A week of tears and no screens {well,all but the occasional nightly show or movie we watch together}.  Finally, they snapped out of it.  They stopped asking for shows and games.  They found their dolls, their cloths, their clothes pins, rocks, jewels, books, scarves, dress up clothes, blocks and opened up their imaginations again.

I know the arguments on both sides.  I know about the pro-screens/unlimited screen time camp and the media/screen free one.  I have read books touting the benefits of both.  But no book can compare with my own experience, the experience of watching my children turn off their minds, their imaginations, their joy and then watching them come back to life with the removal of the screens.

Yes, it's a little bit louder here now.  The living room floor is filled with kiddos, with fantasy worlds built and sprawled across every surface and the sound of melodies being sung to dolls.  It's lively, chaotic and beautiful.  And I wouldn't have it any other way.

*this is in no way condemning of unschooling/radical unschooling, television, etc. and i hope it doesn't come off that way.  i have some wonderful friends who are radical unschoolers and i think it works beautifully for them.  this is just my observation of what works and does not work for our family... after our experiment we have returned to our waldorf/charlotte mason ways and the atmosphere in our home, family, learning, life is beautiful.

to plant seeds

I haven't a thing to say to her, and I try not to look at her, but my eyes keep gazing in her direction.
She is girl who is hurting in so many ways,
and I am woman who was girl hurting,
and I have overcome through Him who gives me strength,
and she can be too,
but my mouth won't open
and my feet won't move,
plastered into the sidewalk
like the horrible statue of Puck in the downtown center,
all I can do is stare...

I see me in her,
that long ago, attention hungry, willing to do anything to get people to notice me girl,
and it tears me up inside something fierce,
when I see myself,
and know what is happening,
and I know the Answer,
but I don't think I can give it,
because I know I wouldn't have taken it.

And it all comes back...
the shaking hands,
the empty stomach,
the tears and the ache and everything I wrote and
everything I did.

And I remember the Peace 
which surpasses all understanding,
how it stilled my hands,
filled my stomach
and caused that ache to cease...

And I long to give it to
girl dressed in black who
wears sorrow on her face the way most girls her age wear makeup,
but I see those who tried to give it to me,
who only pushed me further away...

and I recall the one,
the woman with children,
all smiling and laughing those beautiful smiles and sweet laughs,
and I remember thinking she would glare at me with eyes
that said,
why must you sit there, why do my children have to see you, why can't you just go away
and she would walk as far away from sad, life-hating girl as possible,
the way most mothers with their little ones did.

But then, she didn't.
Holding love together while she held her children's hands,
walking right in front of me,
so close I could touch them with my scarred hands,
she smiled at me,
real, caring, love-sending smile,
and staring in my eyes spoke words which woke my dying soul,
"Beautiful day, isn't it?"

And though she didn't give me life that day,
she was planting seeds which would be watered one day by someone else,
and would begin to sprout into this beautiful mess of a tangled but still growing garden
that I am...

I walk right by her,
silent girl crying out louder than all the noise this downtown makes,
holding hands with two of my little gifts,
and I find her eyes, dark and full of pain,
and I smile at her,
hoping to transfer love with this smile,
and I say to her,
"Beautiful day, isn't it?"

Walking away,
whispering prayers for her,
let these seeds be watered and grow...

*yes this is a repost.  because i needed the reminder that sometimes we plant.  we may not see the fruit, but still we are called to plant and that is just as important as the watering, the tending and the harvesting.  i've done lots of planting in my life.  and planting takes so much faith and can be so completely heart wrenching when you put so much out there and give and love and pour out and then have it disappear and never see, never know.  but still, it's importance is beyond measure.  and so i will plant.  i will plant.  and i will hope.*